In case you missed Sarah Palin’s awesome speech last night, here is the best part of last night’s Republican National Convention – her adorable daughter Piper fixing baby Trig’s hair.

I got this in an email from my SIL – too cute!!

Why did God make mothers?

1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.


How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.


What ingredients are mothers made of ?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.


Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We’re related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me.


What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other
stuff.
2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would
be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.


What did mom need to know about dad before she
married him?

1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?


Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.


Who’s the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.


What’s the difference between moms & dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to
sleep over at your friend’s.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.


What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don’t do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.


What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she’s already per fect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom,
what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.
2. I’d make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

I just found this post on our local Craig’s List board and thought it was funny. The title of the post is Fake Boyfriend.

“I have been divorced for 2 years and have 2 children. Because of my schedule, and to be be honest, my pickiness, I am single. Here is the problem:My ex has figured out that he can force himself into my space by coming to all of the kids events that he has previously neglected. This means I have to see him about 5 times a week. (It’s killing me.)
You will attend a few of these events with me. Softball practices & games, school plays…
You must 29-40 yrs old, tall (he is 5′ 8″), good looking and physically fit. Your job is to be arm candy. You may fall in love with me. This is not a requirement. The pay isn’t great. (I haven’t gotten child support in over a yr.) You will however be entertained. For our benefit, my ex will talk loudly on his cell phone about all the money he is making. He will at random times, drop and do a few push ups. He will walk around flexing the muscles in his arms. (Don’t worry, they aren’t big). He may, after seeing me with you, show up with a stripper at the next event. My hope is that he can’t stomach seeing me with someone else and he just GOES AWAY.
I will need to see a current picture of you and can provide one of myself. This is your chance to have some fun and do a good thing for a hot, broke, stalked, single mom. Please don’t apply if you are a stalker, unless you happen to own horses and you know how to fix my broken lawn mower.”

This is soooooo funny!!

HT to Fabulous Mommy Fussypants